Day 314

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 4.

“Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity, or Affinity forbidden in the Word;…”

Scripture Lookup

Leviticus 18

Reflection

Confusion surrounds the issue of marriage today. There has been a rebellion against the idea of only one man and one woman constituting a married couple, and the rebellious view is widely touted as just and fair. As long as two adults love each other and consent to the union, it should be legal, they say.

If marriage is simply two people who are of age and consent to be wed, then couldn’t any combination of people become a marriage? There are those who already would like to see marriages that include consanguinity and affinity becoming accepted by society. But just what is consanguinity, and what is affinity? Consanguinity is being closely related by ancestry to another person. Affinity is being closely related by marriage to another person. Scripture prohibits joining a man and woman in marriage that have a close degree of either consanguinity or affinity.

Rather than being oppressive, barring marriage based on consanguinity and affinity protects children and upholds the dignity of the individual. The genetic disorders that are prevalent among incestuous relationships are well known, thus the well-being of children are cared for with this restriction. Forbidding such unions also lessens the abuse of power that may occur within some family structures, where consent might not be as free when there is a closely shared history.

The Bible says that a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife (Genesis 2:24). Family trees are meant to branch out, to be united with others. Marriage extends the family; to marry within the family is sin.

Questions to Consider

• How do the purposes of marriage forbid close relations from marrying?

 

Day 313

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 3.

“…and therefore such as profess the true Religion, should not Marry with Infidels, or Idolaters; neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are wicked, in their life, or maintain damnable Heresy.”

Scripture Lookup

Nehemiah 13:25-27

Reflection

Marriage is a blessing, but it is not to be entered into lightly. As a Christian, your duty is to marry in the Lord. Searching for someone who loves the Lord more than he loves you should be a priority.

There comes a time where you must evaluate your prospective spouse.  Do they profess faith? See if their profession lines up with their actions. Are they striving to live a life of holiness? Do they have a desire to please God? Do they understand the Gospel, or is their definition of a Christian based on tradition? While extending grace to someone who doesn’t have it all together is understandable, the standards must be higher when it comes to marriage. After all, you will become “one flesh” with this person. You, Christian, have been bought with a price; therefore, glorify God in your body, and do not join it with an unbeliever.

You may think that you are strong enough in your faith to withstand any tug your unbelieving husband may exert to draw you away from Christ. But what does it say about your faith now that you would disobey a command of your Lord to marry an unbeliever? Reflect on your faith, examine the faith of the one you are interested in, and submit to the Lord.

Questions to Consider

• How do some Christians justify marrying an unbeliever or a false professor?

 

Day 312

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 3.

“… yet it is the duty of Christians to marry in the Lord;…”

Scripture Lookup

1 Corinthians 7:39

Reflection

Marriage is an institution ordained by God that is widely available to men and women.  There are few restrictions placed on who may be married: one man may only marry one woman, and vice versa. They must also be able to reasonably give their consent, and they must not be closely related. With such few regulations, there is vast freedom for humanity to choose who will be their spouse.

Christians are also subject to the same regulations concerning marriage as the rest of mankind, but they have an added command: they are to marry in the Lord. This means that a believer who wishes to marry ought to seek a spouse from among other believers. This shrinks the selection a bit, but it is a sweeter group from which to choose. To marry a fellow believer means that you will experience sanctification together. You will watch your spouse grow more Christ-like over the years. You will not be hindered in having the Lord be the center of the home. Such blessings are to be desired.

All of life is to be submitted to God’s law. Our feelings may get in the way of that, and there may be those who profess faith that desire to marry someone who is not a Christian. Sometimes the idea of marriage can be so consuming that takes a higher priority than God. Another name for that is idolatry, and that is a sin. “You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3). God has every right to declare what we can and cannot do. Our feelings carry no weight against the infinite, holy, and loving Creator. If you are a believer, your allegiance is to God, not your feelings. Marry in the Lord.

Questions to Consider

• Are there any circumstances in which a believer may knowingly marry an unbeliever?

 

Day 311

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 3.

“It is lawful for all sorts of people to Marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent;…”

Scripture Lookup

Hebrews 13:4

1 Timothy 4:3

Reflection

Who should be allowed to marry? That question has been particularly prominent in recent years, as nations have accepted same-sex unions as valid. The Bible is clear that marriage is to be between one man and one woman. Beyond that, there is a great amount of liberty in who you may choose as a spouse. Marriage is for all humanity, and the regulations concerning it are few. Geographic location, ethnicity, and culture have no bearing on whether or not marriage is biblical. Socio-economic status does not affect whether a marriage is pleasing to God. While there are matches that may be unwise when such categories are considered, they are not sinful.

Marriage is to be held in honor, as it is an institution that was ordained by God at creation. It is to be entered into after some careful thought. As such, those who cannot reasonably give their consent to a marriage should not wed. Those who do have sound judgement, though, ought to be careful not to spend so much time considering all the variables of a potential husband that they fall into sin: “…it is better to marry than to burn.” (1 Corinthians 7:9) The restrictions upon whom one may marry, while crucial, are not endless.

Questions to Consider

• What kinds of marriages are not biblical?

 

Day 310

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 2.

“… and the preventing of uncleanness.”

Scripture Lookup

1 Corinthians 7:2,9

Reflection

Marriage is sexual. Shocking, isn’t it? We know that marriage is meant to have a sexual component to it, but yet it carries the connotation of lacking in that department. The real exciting stuff, according to the world, does not happen in the marriage relationship. When we see what marriage truly is, though, we see the statements of the world concerning intimacy for the lies that they are.

In today’s society, sex often revolves the self: my desires and pleasures are what is important. Whatever I feel like doing, whenever I want to do it, with whomever I want to do it with, are what guides society’s view of sex. Such acts springing from selfish lusts and desires are sin.

This self-centeredness carries over to the world’s definition of marriage: my feelings are the determining factor for getting married and staying married. Thus marriage is viewed as another choice, and intimacy outside of that institution is considered morally neutral. But marriage is not about ourselves. It is for the mutual aid of husband and wife. In focusing on the other, intimacy no longer is solely a selfish act. A married couple aids one another from sinning by keeping sex within the marriage relationship.

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. -1 Corinthians 7: 3,4

Questions to Consider

• How does your view of sex affect your view of marriage?

 

Day 308

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 2.

“Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of Husband and Wife,…”

Scripture Lookup

Genesis 2:18

Reflection

Marriage is mutual. This means that in marriage you are not the star of the show. You are, however, the best supporting sidekick. As a wife, you are to aid your husband in whatever life brings to the two of you. Likewise, your husband is to help you. Isn’t that what the wedding vows entail when the bride and groom promise “for better or worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health”?

Now, the help that your spouse may give you may not be quite what you were expecting when you said “I do.” Marriage is a great instrument of the Holy Spirit often used to work sanctification in His people. As you learn how to live with one another, you learn how to love one another. All the quirks and bad habits of your husband stir the pot of annoyance and discontentment that lurk in your sinful members. What do you do about it? Avoid it? Run away? Give in to temptation? Marriage forces you to deal with your own sin, and teaches you how to live with a sinner.

Living for others is hardly easy, but the mutual aid given by a husband and wife to each other is why marriage was created. Striving to put aside their own interests, the couple that seeks to serve the other obtains the reward of knowing someone in a way unlike any other relationship. Through praying for one another, forgiving one another, and trusting Christ to use that relationship for His glory, those who are married are able to grow in godliness.

 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. -Philippians 2:3-4

Questions to Consider

• If you are married, how are you helping your spouse? If you are not married yet, how are you looking to others’ interests?

 

Day 307

Of Marriage.

Chapter 25, Paragraph 1.

“Marriage is to be between one man and one woman; neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time.”

Scripture Lookup

Genesis 2:24

Malachi 2:15

Matthew 19:5,6

Reflection

What is marriage? Is it happily ever after? Is it just a piece of paper? Many of us have learned what marriage is supposed to be from our parents, Disney movies, and the world around us. Unless your parents had a rock solid relationship, you never really learned what real-life marriage should look like. Conflicting views of what constitutes being married have risen in recent years, adding to the confusion.

So what is marriage? When we look in the beginning of God’s word, we see that God created Adam and Eve to complement each other. Eve was to assist her husband in tending the Garden of Eden, and Adam was to care for his wife. There was one man and one woman, and they were joined together. Their relationship was one of intimacy, trust, and love.

Yet problems seem to arise when we read further on in the Old Testament. Many in Israel – even godly kings – take more than one wife, and there is seemingly little objection. What’s up with that? Does God allow polygamy? To obtain the answer, we have to read ahead to the New Testament. Since the Gospel is further revealed in the New than in the Old, it will shine light on the issue of marriage. What does our Lord say in Matthew 19? Rather than citing the examples of polygamy, He points to one man and one woman becoming one flesh. Paul in Ephesians 5 compares marriage to the relationship between Christ and His Church. Does Christ have more than one bride? Of course not!

There is a 1:1 ratio in marriage. One man, and one woman, covenanting together to support one another. It is an institution given by God for the blessing of humanity. If we want to know what marriage is, then we need to look to the One who instituted it, not our experiences, movies, or society.

Questions to Consider

• What is marriage according to the Bible? How does that compare with what society claims marriage to be?